A large number of patient with the ages ranging from 18-24 years are ending up withpancreatitis ( 胰腺炎/ 胰脏炎), either as a swelling or infection of the pancreas due to regular consumption of instant noodles... If the frequency is more than 3 times a week, then it is very hazardous...
One Chinese person walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.(Steven Spielberg是什么东东?乜水?干嘛找他签名?)
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get out of here." (虾,无故挨巴掌还被诬赖?什么世界?换做是你,有何反应?孰人孰不可忍?)
The astonished Chinese man replied "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor , it was the Japanese". (欲加之罪,何患无辞?青红皂白不会分?)
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg. (是 nese 都是坏人?有胡须都是你老公?有“高山峻岭”都是你妈?什么话?)【哦,想起SHE的《中国话》。】
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says "You sank the Titanic; my forefathers were on that ship." (打得好!谁叫你把Titanic沉下海?看戏吧!)
Shocked, Spielberg replies "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me." (虾,怪iceberg?) The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same." (管他什么berg,有berg就是沉船人!)
好了,你的脸还黑不黑?^_^
PS
This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition in Britain . 你觉得如何?
Saw this advertisement in Taiwan. Obviously, I was the only one laughing all the way from the airport to the MRT until I reached my hotel."
"Let Shanghai bank manage your finance. Bring PUKI home."
It is just so wrong on so many levels naming your company's toy mascot after a favourite word Ah Beng's use to scold people. I wanna try to make a joke out of it, but I think I'll just take the classy road and stay quiet.
I only have one question though. If the name of that little pig is called PUKI, does that mean his mother is called PUKIMA ?
这个世界,有钱万事都能,没钱万万不能。你说呢?哪一句最有理? 沒錢的時候,養豬; 有錢的時候,養狗。 When without money, keep pigs;
When have money, keep dogs.
沒錢的時候,在家裡吃野菜; 有錢的時候,在酒店吃野菜。
When without money, eat wild vege at home ;
When have money, eat same wild vege in fine restaurant.
沒錢的時候,在馬路上騎自行車; 有錢的時候,在客廳裡騎自行車。
When without money, ride bicycle;
When have money, ride exercise machine. 沒錢的時候,想結婚; 有錢的時候,想離婚。
When without money, wish to get married;
When have money, wish to get divorced. 沒錢的時候,老婆兼秘書; 有錢的時候,秘書兼老婆。
When without money, wife becomes secretary;
When have money, secretary becomes wife. 沒錢的時候,假裝有錢; 有錢的時候,假裝沒錢。
When without money, act like rich man;
When with money, act like poor man.
人啊,都不講實話: Man, O Man, never tells the truth:
說股票是毒品,都在玩; 說金錢是罪惡,都在撈;
Says sharemarket is bad but keeps speculating;
Says money is evil but keeps accumulating.
說美女是禍水,都想要; 說高處不勝寒,都在爬;
Says women are trouble-makers but keeps desiring them;
Says high positions are lonely but keeps wanting them.
說煙酒傷身體,就不戒;說天堂最美好,都不去!!!
Says smoking and drinking are bad but keeps partaking;
Says heaven is good but refuses to go.
過去把第一次留給丈夫; 現在把第一胎留給丈夫。
In the past, woman gives man their virginity;
Now, woman gives man their newborn baby
鄉下早晨雞叫人,城裡晚上人叫雞;
In the rural area, chicken calls man awake;
In the cities, man calls for chickens.
舊社會戲子賣藝不賣身,新社會演員賣身不賣藝。
In the past, famous actresses will not sell their bodies;
Now, actresses will sell their bodies to become famous